My past seems like the remembrance of a character in a novel, or the lingering emotions of a vaguely remembered dream upon waking. In the story of my life, I have been a dancer and choreographer and now am a caretaker for a property in a remote European woodland that is sometimes a setting for small retreats. I was born in United States and have lived the last several years in Europe.

In the timestory, in 2011, at the age of 21, a dramatic shift in my awareness seemed to occur. The world of separate people and things, including me, appeared to meld into a seamless whole with all the definitions and meanings of thoughts and beliefs falling away. I assumed it was a serious mental illness, as it was shattering at first, but that soon gave way to a feeling of sublime peace and awe and wonderment. I still imagined if there was an explanation it was that I had gone insane, but life felt so profoundly vivid and beautiful, even as it was no longer personal, that I was fine with being a madwoman. That feeling of awe, wonder and peace remains unchanged a decade later.

I wrote a friend about this shortly after it happened, and he sent me videos from people who talked of something called nonduality. I had never heard the word, but It seemed to resonate deeply with what I was perceiving and feeling. Several years later I began writing about my experiences and perceptions.